Below are some of the best status update messages or quotes collected from random resource, you can also update these funky quotes or status to your whatsapp status, hangout status or facebook status. check out the messages below.
Best Unique Whatsapp Status Messages
Study economics when you’re unemployed, at least you’ll know why.
Love thy neighbour but don’t get caught
I taught her that the ‘p’ in pneumonia is silent, she applied it on pyaar!
I don’t hate you, I just don’t like your existence.
Congratulations!!My tallest finger want to give you a standing ovation.
Feel free to message as long as you do not expect a reply.
My father once told me that people listen to you if you tell them that your father told you that.
I am experiencing life at the rate of 20 WTF’s every hour.
Don’t Blindly follow the masses. Sometimes the m is Silent.
A man is as young as the woman he feels.
Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.
Until I was thirteen I thought my name was ‘Shut up!’
Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one a**hole at a time.
I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me.
I will marry the girl who looks pretty in her Aadhar Card.
I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
I am not fat, I am just easier to see.
I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe. But never twice.
People who have mobile contacts like ‘MOM2’ , ‘DAD2’ scare me.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who’s in a hurry?
When nothing goes right; go win a race in NFS (Need for speed)
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!… He’s dreaming too!
You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it.
If at first, you don’t succeed..Keep flushing.
Yes, I agree. Mums can find everything. Except for the ringing phone in their bags!
I don’t wanna go to heaven…none of my friends will be there!
If you can’t convince her then confuse her.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
…..And everyone knows the louder the music the bigger the heartbreak.
The pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear….I’m just fat.
It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry 🙂
Dear God, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make me a bad person.
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbor’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. 🙂
When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions 🙂
I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
Your profile picture is the reason behind my smile, because your profile picture is a joke.
Your texts makes me feel like slapping you, but that will be an animal abuse.
Your suggestions are as useless as the traffic lights of GTA.
It is easy to be honest till you get a chance for corruption.
There is a fine line between honesty and foolishness.
Taking the responsibility of irresponsible people is a big responsibility. I will never take yours.
I am a graduate. Thermometer is not the only thing with a degree now.
I learnt treachery from the treacherous and paid them back.
The axe forgets, the tree remembers.
Born to Express not to Impress.
When someone says, “You’ve Changed”, It simply means you’ve stopped living your life their way .
You have to be ODD, to be number ONE.
“SUCCESS” all depends on the second letter.
You are as useless as the ‘AY’ in ‘Okay’.
Weird is a side effect of awesomeness/ being awesome.
Relationships are a lot like Algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
I heard you took an IQ test and they said your results were negative.
Eat Right. Stay Fit. Die Anyway.
My girlfriend is like my iPad… I don’t have an iPad.
The longer the title the less important the job.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Can’t talk, telepathy only!
f I’ve learnt anything from mayans then it’s that ..Not finishing a project is not the end of world.
A lie is just a great story ruined by truth.
Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.
Looks like I over-estimated the number of your brain cells.
80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you’re one of them.
I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
Work until you don’t have to introduce yourself.
People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason.
Graduation – The process changing one’s status from “Student” to “Unemployed”.
Zombies are looking for brain, don’t worry.. you’re safe.
My ex had one very annoying habit – BREATHING
A Good Date ends with Dinner. An Awesome Date ends with Breakfast
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Some people need a HIGH-FIVE, in the face with a chair.
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
The ones who say “you can’t” and “you won’t” are probably the ones scared that “you will”.
If swimming is a good exercise to stay FIT, why are whales FAT????
I will become a fan of the Procrastinators Club… tomorrow. I promise.
Love is like fart. If you force it, It’s probably shit.
Hey, I found your nose, it was in my business again.
When angry, count One to Ten. If very angry, count one to Hundred.
Never under-estimate the power of group of stupid people.
Water your side of grass, if you want it to be greener.
If it’s not your cup of tea, don’t drink it.
You’re the color of my Blood.
Silence is a source of great strength.
Thousands have lived without love, not one without water.
The soul that is within me no man can degrade.
A single twig breaks, but the bundle of twigs is strong.
Perhaps I am stronger than I think.
Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.
Every burden is a blessing.
The science of today is the technology of tomorrow.
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.
Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.
No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.
All the people like us are we, and everyone else is They.